Monday, August 28, 2006

Pronouncing Foreign Places


A pet peeve I've always had, is when people get obsessed w/ pronouncing foreign places in the native accent, while everything else in their sentence stays American.

Example:
(pronounced their normal way) "Oh, yah, and in my Junior year of college I got to go to
( hispanicized with a clicked r) PAY ROO
(back to normal) for the year"

Not only is this kind of jarring, but silly, in my opinion. First of all, if you had said you had gone on a trip to England, would you have used a British accent when you said England? It also always feels to me like the people might be overeacting to American egocentricism. Like they're thinking, "Oh, it's so American to think it's actually pronounced that way. They should really know how it's really said."

Now, I realize, that's how the other countries say it, but there's nothing wrong with languages altering a place name to fit their language. For instance, would you correct a Spanish speaker for saying Estados Unidos?

All this being said, I do think the country Chile causes some problems. I maintain, that saying CHEE LAY sounds pretentious. But calling it chilly does sound a little dumb. I think the answer lies somewhere in splitting the difference, but am curious on where others stand on this highly controversial issue.

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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Fashion Issue #3

Faux Paux or No Paux?
So I'm back in Portland acclimating myself to the weather and I've come up with a good trick for these cold-in-the-morning-and-it-may-or-may-not-get-really-hot-in-the-afternoon days that we've been having. I wear a long sleeved button down shirt over a T-shirt with shorts. That way I am warm if it's cold and can take off the long sleeve if it gets warm. Ingenious, right?
Now I realize utility is no excuse for bucking fashion trends and wife claims this look is, "retarded". But I think she's wrong. Not only am I able to rock my nice button-downs while still feeling summery, but I get to feel both dressed up and casual at the same time. I think I'm just (again) ahead of the times. But what do you guys think? Is the long sleeve/shorts look a faux paux or a no paux?

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Dominican History: Virtual Insanity

In a journey within a journey, I decided to read some DR history during my trip, Frank Moya's The Dominican Republic. And I can say, without question, that for just being 2/3 of an island, their history is ridiculously huge and complex. I have heard places described as politically unstable, and maybe there are other countries with such intense turnover, but actually reading the blow by blow was stupefying. For instance, they had 52 different governments between 1865 and 1930 (versus 16 for us) and 80+ total. "Coup," "transitional government," "civil war," and, my favorite, "return from exile" were all too common phrases in this book.

So how do I sum this up to the Chuckdaddy riders? And do I bother? I guess this is an area where you sort of wonder about audience. Am I writing for the 5 people who visit here? For posterity? Or just for myself? I think in this case, I just do it for myself, and so I can hope to remember at least some of the monstrous book I slogged my way through. And if it is unreadably long, still better than a basketball one. Right? So here goes. I think I'll handle it by first giving a fairly brief history, and then address some questions I had before I left

Failed Attempt At a Fairly Brief History
So first there were the Ciboneys who were replaced by the Saladoids (great ceramicists btw) who were replaced by the Taino. The Taino probably would have been replaced by the Caribe, who were mean mother fuckers known for canibalism, but some meaner mother fuckers suddenly arrived (the Spanish). Hispanola (the name for the island that DR and Haiti share) was the third island Columbus landed on in his 1492 journey and where he and his men created the first colony.
The first colony did not go so well. Columbus left for Spain and by the time he got back his men had managed to get killed off for stealing Indian women. But it would be a momentary victory for the Taino, as the population would be enslaved and pretty much eliminated by 1519 (disease played a large role, but many Taino also committed suicide or committed abortions to avoid working for the Spanish). Although the DR was the first colony, it soon got passed up in importance by Cuba (around mid 1500's) and many Hispanolans not in the capital survived by, illegally, trading with other European powers. This eventually pissed Spain off so much that in 1603 they had 6 of the towns eliminated. Spanish officials literally made everyone move near Santo Domingo and burnt down their old towns. This is referred to as the Devastaciones.
Besides this being an inherently evil policy, it also ended up coming back to bite the Spanish in the ass. With much of the island now deserted, the French moved in. Numerous border excursions ensued, but neither side could destroy the other and the French eventually got comfortable on the Western 1/3 (today's Haiti). Although it was intermittently illegal, there was also a lot of trading, with the French side providing manufactured goods for the Spanish in return for livestock. Both sides profitted, but particularly the French side, which became a very successful colony based on sugar plantations.
In 1789, things got highly complex. The French side had whites, mullato land owners, and slaves. The mullatoes wanted equal rights (for themselves, not the slaves) and were arguing heavily with the whites. Both sides looked to the colonial powers to help and this conflict eventually devolved into a French/Mullato versus British/White alliance. To make matters crazier, the blacks revolted and got help from the Spanish side of the island, who had slaves, but saw this as a chance to take over the island. Confused yet? To make matters even more complicated, in the middle of this many fronted war, the French declared the slaves free and Spain lost a European war to France and as a concession give them the Spanish side of the island. After the dust settled, you had the (now) ex-slaves ruling the French side and the French ruling the Spanish side.
But I need to be careful here. It is easy to get sucked into just detailing who controlled what in DR's history, but this is a long and boring task. What's interesting though, is the slave side will fend off Napoleon's attempt to retake the island and eventually control the whole island for 20 years (1821-1843).
Upon independence from the Haitians, The Dominican Republic will come into being, and this is not necessarilly a good things. The political instability that'll ensue reminded me of political king of the hill, with the most recent victor celebrating by changing the Constitution and naming family members to important posts. An interesting rivalry was between the Central DR and the South/East. The Central part had a lot of tobacco farms which I guess actually creates a fairly diversified economy, and pushed for genuine democracry and civil rights. On the other hand, the South and East's economies were dominated by plantations and livestock, which meant a few strong men ruling numerous peons. Their leaders generally pushed for dictators. Much of the early turnover was these two sides switching control and then completely altering things. The worst example was when Santana retook over and changed the Constitution so that Congress was replaced with a 7-person advisory board.
Pretty much all of the leaders screwed up the economy. Besides pilferings of the state's money, a common practice was printing up money w/o backing, which I also used to think was a good idea(Why don't we just print up a 300 million dollar bill to pay of the debt?). Additionally, leaders also began to look to other countries and/or their merchants for loans. Santana will go as far as to annex the country back to Spain from 1860-1865.
They also made the mistake of getting involved with us, always a bad idea. Eventually, we will be pretty much dominating the country finances (controlling the customs) and demanding that their army is replaced with one we control. When their Pres refused, we actually took over (from 1916-1924). This will actually end up being a time of stability, but we will deny them basic rights like the freedom to criticize the US in the press, own a gun, or, of course, rule their own country.
After the US leaves, matters go from worse to worse when evil Trujillo takes over. His reign will last from 1931 until he is shot down in a car shase in 1960. Highlights of his rule were having 18,000 Haitians living in the border areas murdered (Trujillo was part Haitian, but would apply white make-up to look lighter), institute secret police to sniff out any criticism, and enrich himself by dominating the economy. His general economic policy was to create state monopolies with companies he owned. This will eventually result in him controlling 80% of the country's industrial production, and having 60% of the work force depending on him. Sort of like the worst possible combination of communism and capitalism.
After the Trujilloster things only got moderately better. A liberal government got couped and when they were in the process of fighting there way back to the top of the hill, the US Marines came and protected the bad guys. After which elections led to the blind ex-Trujillo puppet Balauger taking over. Balaugher will be President from 1966-1978 and then return to rule as an octogenarian from 1986-1996. His economic record was mixed, he presided over the 70's Dominican miracle and during 1989; when the economy got so bad that lucky people had power for 3 hours a day. But his political record was consistent, he would do anything and everything to be reelected. These took on various manifestations, a coup here, a jailing of opponents there... But I was astonished to see that he had some legitimate popularity as well, and actually was reelected fairly cleanly in 1990. A Dominican told me was incredibly charismatic and a great speech giver.
Moya's book only went up to 1991, and ended on a very pessimistic note, but things might be looking up. Since Balauger left (forced to), they've had 3 legitimate elections and peaceful transfers of power. There's also been high growth lately and the tourist industry is taking off. Still, I wouldn't go so far as to say they're in the clear. During the early 2000's, the peso dropped from 16 to $1US to 60 to $1US and a major bank collapsed b/c of a 3.5 billion peso fraud. Still, as judged from how the nation started, seeing the phrase "peaceful transfer of power" actually written in connection w/ the DR, is a huge improvement.
Questions
1.Is their any Taino blood left?
I guess not. I played amateur ethonographer a lot and made my own conclusions that I could see some Indian in the population, but everyone I spoke to and everything I read said otherwise. There must be some fraction, considering the early Spanish had mixed babies, but their virtual extinction since 1520 might mean they're out of the current gene pool. What I was seeing (if in fact I wasn't just making it up), was probably more likely Hindu, Chinese, or Arab genes that have moved to the DR in small numbers over the years. One Dominican's gave further evidence that the Taino tribe would most look like a tribe that lives today in Venezuala, and he claimed modern Dominicans held no likeness to them.
2. How did the island become split between Spain and France?
This had always interested me. It just seemed odd to me that two colonial powers would share such a, relatively, small piece of land. But it seems the Devastaciones, opened the door for the French to settle and a weakened Spanish couldn't get rid of them. Additionally, I will spare any faithful reader the details (b/c I forgot them), but numerous times one side or the other had the chance to completely take over, but wasn't quite able to. So various circumstances could have led to it being solely French or solely Spanish, but in the end they split it.
3. Why is Haiti so much blacker than the DR?
Easy one, the slaves lopped off the white's heads after they won.
4. Why is Haiti so much poorer?
I was sort of obsessed w/ this question and asked various people it while I was there. The Dominican is not a rich country, but is miles ahead economically than Haiti, the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. The answer I consistently got from people was that when the slaves beheaded the whites they, as 1 Dominican put it, "lopped off their brains". I think the implication here is not to be racist, but to be classist. The slaves, through no fault of their own, were uneducated and unprepared to run a country.
I'm not totally against this theory, and there does seem to be some logic to a slow transfer of power to be better for the infrastructure of a country than a drastic one, but I never fully bought it. And when I started reading about the DR's history, I began to seriously doubt it. The central tenet seems to be that with a more educated elite a country will be run better. Well maybe, but the Dominican Republic is certainly no example of this. I find it hard to imagine thata country could be run worse than the DR was, particularly at the beginning when they supposedly had those educated Spanish to help them.
What seems closer to the truth for me is an explanation I got from a history teacher there. After I questioned his "ruling better" theory, he added that you had to look at the economies. And even as fucked up as the DR's politics were, they had legitimate industries that did not change too much after independence. Haiti, on the otherhand, had to be transformed from a plantation economy based on slave labor. This meant the always tricky "land reform" and/or getting freed slaves to work on plantations for a wage (very few were interested in this). So my argument would be that it wasn't the smarter heads ruling the DR that has made it more successful, but the fact that its economy could continue as was.
5. Why was there government so much more unstable than ours
And perhaps the actual question should be, why has the US government been so remarkably stable. I'm not sure how we compare universally, but it seems like mass political instability might be the rule in the transition to democracy. But the US? No coups, all peacefuly transfers of power, one civil war (albeit a big one)... What gives?
I have 2 hypothesese (is that really how you spell it?). One, not to get all founding father teary eyed, but our first leader really didn't want to stay in power forever. Supposedly, Georgie Porgie had to be convinced for both terms and was happy to step down after. And the fact that he did leave, when he certainly would have been reeelected, supports this. GW did set a precedent of 2 terms and leaving. Much different then say the DR's Santana, who would be president 4 seperate times and set the precedent of hanging on any way possible.
My other hypothesis has to do with the economies. I found it very interesting that the Central DR's diversified economy pushed for a democracy very much like ours. If it hadn't been for the South/East's plantation economy pushing for a strongman, a Constitution ensuring basic rights and a Congress w/ more power would probably have been the case. I believe the US's entire economy fit the Central's diversified one. In the Northeast the merchants had the political power, whereas the South had not become huge plantations yet. Perhaps things would have been very different for our start if we had become a country when the cotton plantations were king in the South.
Oh yah, a third one. The DR was always perpetually scared of Haiti taking them over. Haiti already had and Haiti had more people. Many of the dictators claimed they needed more executive power to deal with this threat. Possibly that is true, but either way it is definitely the case that a populace scared of invasion will always give up more rights.
6. Did anyone read all of this?
I doubt it, but don't really care. Yahoo for me! I finished the book and summarized it!! Yahoo!!!

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Monday, August 21, 2006

Puerta Plata

Home sweet home. Survived the all-inclusive body and mind intact. Not a whole lot to report since all we mostly did was read by a pool. But here are some highlights...

Highlights
1. Eating: Being a big a fan of the Old Country Buffet, I greatly enjoyed having most of my meals buffet style. They also had restaurants you could go to and although the food was nothing special, when you were done, you could just get up and leave. No, waiter waiter, check please, thanks, check arrives, perfunctory look, waiter waiter, takes bill, returns bill, sign bill, leave. You can just get up and go.
2. Nacho Bar: The Mexican restaurant had a self-serve nacho bar, which was fantastic and will hopefully spread northwest.
3. Themed Pools: No pool was quite the same. There was the solemn spa pool, the activity pool, the (ooh la la) topless pool, the pool that had a juice bar instead of a real bar... All subtle differences that no one seemed to follow, but it added a little bit of variety to the lazy life. I was thinking though that they should go a bit farther and combine more things. Like instead of having the disco inside, why not a disco pool? Or instead of a juice bar next to the pool, how about a juice pool, where you swim through fresh tropical juices?
4. The Magic Show: I'm not being ironic here, we (and the kids) were highly impressed. Lots of animals were involved (in a magic way, not a kinky way).
5. Thatched Hut Beach Bar: Sort of a Caribbean cliche I guess, but a good one.


Not So Highlights
1. Free Beer: A good thing, but did not meet my expectations. For one thing, they aren't idiots, so the beer is served in smallish plastic cups. Considering the local brew has an alcohol content that would make The Mormons proud, it was virtually impossible to get drunk. Many people tried, mind you, with first call seemingly at 8am. But I've never been a big day drinker. In the end not all I had cracked it up to be.
2. Braided Hair: Wife caught Caribbean Fever and got the braids done! Tres tacky!!!
3. Beach Band: Sometimes okay, but ruined some reflective moments at the Beach Bar with songs like a Spanish cover of Tutti Frutti.
4. Sunburn: Won't go into details (That mistress sun, can be such a wicked temptress)
5. Wrist Band: Made me feel like I was at a water slide. Come on people, invent the all-inclusive micro-chip already.

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Friday, August 18, 2006

Santiago and Mocha


Ahhh taking a break from the sunshine and free beer at the resort...

So next we went to Santiago, but spent most of the days visiting Mocha, a smaller town nearby. Mocha is where wife spent her year in the DR and has a reputation for killing dictators (2 to be exact). After our underwhelming time in Santo Domingo we were both feeling a little down about our decision to come to the DR, but that all changed in Mocha. Her host-family, who wife hadn't seen in 18 years, was ridiculously friendly. When we arrived, about 20 people of various relations fed us, talked to us, and basically gave us a chaotic latino-style welcoming. There were even some people who spoke English (kids mostly, but a few adults who were visiting from NY), which was good for my gringo ass. We returned there everyday and did some variation of the same thing (drinking and eating with 20 people in the... house! The park!! The campo club!!!).

We didn't see a whole lot of Santiago, but what we did experience we liked. On Friday night we went downtown where there was much cruising and loud music blasting. In the middle, there is a huge monument that Trujillo built (you could see it from anywhere in the city, a metaphor?). Surrounding it were people hanging out, blasting music, and selling beer from their coolers. In general, Santiago just felt more alive and friendly than Santo Domingo. We could have been biased from having people to see, but I also think we just have a tendency of liking the smaller cities.

It would seem too bad that we only spent 4 days total there. We could have spent a lot more time exploring Santiago and much more time seeing her family. But as nice as everyone was, it was also overwhelming and I think we were both ready to move on the beach...


Here are 4 things I've learned about the DR

1. Reagaeton is best heard blasted out of the trunk of your car from a souped-up stereo.
2. They have Mexican and Greek food here, but they add Ketchup and mayonnaise to it.
3. Dominicans are obsessed with cold beer. If your drink has been sitting for over 5 minutes, they will replace it with a new colder one.
4. During Trujillo's reign he changed the name of Santo Domigo to Trujllio city and made everyone buy a sign that read, "En este casa, Trujillo es el jefe" (in this house, Trujillo is the boss).

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Friday, August 11, 2006

Santo Domigo Esta Bien


On our way out of Santo Domingo today and we had a pretty good time, but were not blown away. Perhaps we are going through a bit of Latin American Colonial Cities O.D., and I fear we have become a little bit too familiar with them (when you start making comments like, "It´s cobblestones aren´t quite up to the San Juan standard", it might be time to move on). Although we felt it did not quite match up to some other cities we´ve visited, the historical aspects were pretty crazy. Like having a drink in the first house of the new world (built 1502) or walking down the street where Diego Columbus´s wife would march, and you could determine a person´s standing by how close they were to her.

Our first night here we were pretty confused. We went out to dinner latino-style late (aided by pacific-timed stomaches) and when we tried to go to some hip and happening bars after, they were all closed. And actually, the whole Zona felt dead. This seemed very unfestive of them and we found out the next day that there were 2 culprits to blame. The first was that the Hard Rock Cafe had opened and it was drawing all the Santo Domingo cool kids. The second culprit, and much more impactful, was that the state had issued a 12 am last call on all bars in the country. That´s right. Oh, and when had they done this? Yes, that´s right, 8 days before our arrival.

Still, there were good times to be had, even if we couldn´t drink past midnight. My favorite night was when wife befriended a bell hop and he took us out to a conveniant store down the street. There, we drank Presidentes (their beer) at the counter, while loud music blasted out of a juke box. It became quickly clear that our bell-hop friend had a drinking problem, considering he was still supposed to be working and he admitted to dealing with the 12am curfew by drinking more in the mornings. But still, he was a nice guy, and it was by far the best time I have ever had at a conveniant store (my apologies to my local Plaid Pantry).

Anyway, today we leave to go to Santiago, the second biggest city in the Dee Are and also close to the town where wife lived during high school. I think it´s going to be better than the capital and am excited to spend more time with some non-tourist industry employed locals. It´s hard to predict our reception since wife was here 18 years ago, but we will see...

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Friday, August 04, 2006

Seven Star Hotel

That's right. Fuck third world countries. This year wife and I have decided to live it up and stay in Dubai at the world's only seven star hotel. Rooms for up to $35,000 and we'll get gold-plated bannisters, a simulated submarine ride to an underwater restaurant, and staff to clean our sunglasses. Oh, you want to come? Sure, no problem, but it'll cost you $75 just to get through the gates to gaze at our awesomeness.

Okay fine, we aren't going to Dubai. Instead, we're leaving on Sunday for the Dominican Republic (although those in the know just say the "Dee Are"). Still, we will get to have a little bit of luxury at the end. For the first 9 days we'll be in Santo Domingo and Santiago, but for the last 5 we'll be staying in a resort on the North Coast (Puerta Plata). Wife spent a year in the Dee Are during high school and a friend of hers offered us 5 days free at the resort he works at for our wedding present. Not bad. But there are some questions to be asked...

1. If this an all-inclusive resort, does this mean I get to drink for free?

2. On the web site, the biggest criticism was, "too many stairs." Does this mean most people there are fat? Or are they old?

3. Most importantly, what does this portend for our future travels? Is Club Med next???

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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The French Hokey Pokey

I guess the French really aren't so culturally superior to us. Below is a video of the #1 song in France right now. It is about their shamed almost World Cup hero Zidane and the chorus is...

"Watch out, it’s the head-butt dance!
(Head-butt, head-butt)
Head-butt to the right
(Head-butt, head-butt)
Head-butt to the left
(Head-butt, head-butt)"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWAJhUNj8Xg&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ethemightymjd%2Ecom%2F

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Don't cry for me Matahambre


Yum yum yummmmmmmmmmmmm. You all need to go to your local culturegrams and make the newest taste sensation, matahambre (login: IWMS password: wolverines). No, this is not the meat of the goat sucker, but a real Argentinian meal you can set your teeth into. Matahambre (hunger killer you illiterate) is a flank steak wrapped around bacon, potato, carrots, and chiles. And it is the shiznit, and then some. The best part is you marinate the steak in onions, garlic, vinegar, and beer for a fucking day. Now we're talking. 2 toothbrushings later I can still taste this meal. So do yourself a favor and cook some up. Pronto!!!

Recipes A-Z
Afghani Chicken
Albanian Baked Lamb
Algerian Malt O Meal
Angolan Fish Stew

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Bad Business Names

The name of your business can make or break you in our take-no-prisoners capitist system. So I ask you, what are some of these places thinking?

1. Kitchen Kaboodle
Now, I realize I am not the target audience of this store. But seriously, have some self respect. Kitchen Kaboodle? That's not kute, it's knauseating. And is almost as bad as a store from my hometown called Snooty Tooty.

2. Asian Pun Restaurants
Misohappy, Wok N Roll, Noodle Me??? Maybe before translation these were real knee slappers, but they always make me groan and kind of feel sorry for the owners. Hung Far Lo is the exception to this rule.

3. And More Stores
A pet peeve of mine has always been those places that don't want to be pigeon-holed, so they try to keep things more open with their names. Like Clogs and More or Linens N Things or the bizarrely galactic Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I mean, do these places really think this will help? Oh, I didn't want any linens, but I did need some things. Or hey honey, let's not just stop at getting bed and bath stuff, let's go that next step...

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