Friday, June 29, 2007

Update On Summer Goals

After one week, I'm sure everyone is dying to know how I'm doing on my goals. Well no reason to worry b/c it's update time.

1. Cooking Staples
Being home puts me in charge of cooking, and I've gone for more traditional choices this summer than last. Thus far I've cooked Breaded Tilapia (which I'd never heard of before) w/ Sweet n' Sour Collards and Lasagna. I probably couldn't have made more mistakes w/ the Collards, (Carmelized onions? No check. Cooked Rice? No check. Cooked to tenderness? Not sure.) but it didn't matter after I poured vinegar on it. Everything tastes better w/ vinegar. The lasagna was particularly easy and I think a good choice for me. I just get to follow directions and there's major room for sloppiness. There's no me having to determine if an ingredient is salted to taste. Just layer layer layer and cook for a 1/2 hour. I see much lasagna in our future.


2. Car Registration

Yuck! The bane of my existence. I actually did take a first step here and called the DMV. But they were totally unsupportive. Instead of nurturing and helping me along w/ an area I so obviously struggle with (anything to do w/ paperwork) her response was to say, with mean surprise, "Your registration ran out in November?" And then, even worse, she informed me that b/c of this I would have to get some temporary thing filled out b4 even going to the DEQ. To me this is like charging people who's house down payments aren't enough an extra fee. We're having enough trouble here, make it easier not harder. I was so traumatized, I decided to put it off until next week...


5. Putting Together a Basketball Hoop

I actually gave this a second effort and was doing OK (step 6 out of 34) until I realized I really did need a second person (This hit me as I was trying to balance a ten foot pool while sticking a rod through its base). So today is a big day for this. Wife's mom is in town and willing to help (sucker). We tried to work on it yesterday, but were thwarted by rain. Will today bring home success?


6. Finding the Moth's Lair

I've killed more, but their lair is yet to be unearthed. I may have to take my sister's advice and just throw out any and all possibilities.
***New Goal****
8. Blogging Less and Accomplishing More Goals

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Thursday, June 28, 2007

The NBA Draft Is in 2 Hours!

I know everyone could give 2 shits (sorry, just trying to maintain my "NC-17" rating) that the NBA draft is today. And I promise not to cry when I see that I have zero comments for this entry. But people really should care. Here are 3 reasons why:



1. Oden versus Durant


Portland's decision at #1 really is an interesting one, and gets more confusing the more you look at it. Do they go with Bull Russel Redux (Oden) or the 6-10 Michael Jordan (Durant)? Well you always go with the center. Or do you in today's faster-paced smaller NBA? Still, look at what Oden did in college with one wrist. On the other hand, what if the wrist never heals? Well, you can't skip on Oden, he's lost like 17 games total in his life. He's the definition of a winner. But Oden wasn't even the best guy on that team, Conley was. And so it goes on and on...




2. Monster Trades


I can't remember a time when bigger names were bandied about before draft day: Garnett, Stoudemire, Marion, Jermaine O'Neil, Kobe, Ray Allen... And there is motivation for them to be traded during the draft, that way the team does get to pick who they want with the draft pick they traded for. Expect at least 1 big name to switch teams tonight (Most likely Garnett to Phoenix).




3. Deeper Draft


Many consider this the deepest draft in the last 10 years, and I don't think people are just saying that. Even better, since high school players can't enter, everyone has some track record you can look back on. So if you're a college fan, this should be the most recognizable draft in years.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Blog Rating


Following in the footsteps of Jenny! and Michael5000, I decided to see what my blog was rated. And I have to admit, as I waited for it to compute, I actually felt a little worried that I'd get some pussy ass little bitch rating like "G" or the wanna be gangsta but afraid to say "fuck" "PG-13". Fortunately, I made it up to the sexually explicit, but not hardcore, "NC-17". Below, is a list of why:
poop (6x)
shit (5x)
crack (4x)
prick (3x)
sex (2x)
pissed (1x)
I am embarrassed to say, after looking over that list, that those seem a little "PG-13". "Pissed"? "Prick"? And, forgetting the rating system for a second, why did I mention "poop" 6 times? I seem to have the potty mouth of a 9-year old.
But hey, I'm not the expert. I will put my full trust into the rating system and even try to write by it. So I'll continue to swear while discussing sex, drugs, and poop, but I promise it'll always be a for a higher artistic purpose.

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Tuesday, June 26, 2007

This Week on Snax!

3 Greatest Snacks Ever
In no particular order...

Cheese and Crackers
I had sort of forgotten this oldie but goodie, but it really is hard to beat. Particularly, if your cracker is a Garden Herb flavored Triscuit. I swear, if you've never tried the Garden Herb, run to your local store now, you'll never think of artificial flavors the same way again.

Chips and Salsa
Again, nothing fancy, but delicious, nevertheless. Personally, I don't think the type of chip matters so much (as long as they have ample salt), but the salsa is a key choice. And my #1 salsa is, without a doubt, Emerald Valley's Organic Salsa. Now, I'm not someone who can usually tell the difference between regular items and organic items (which is not to doubt people who do, I just don't have the most discerning of taste buds), but this salsa really stands heads and shoulder above all others I've ever tried. My #2 salsa is La Victoria, which you can get in gargantuan size.

Tim's Jalapeno Chips
In the chip category, there really are no challengers. Kettle's Beer Cheddar may come the closest, but they really still remain in different ball parks. If you desire salty spicy goodness, there's really no reason to try any other.

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Monday, June 25, 2007

Overthrow Monday: Hawaii


In terms of my blog, I have one goal for the summer. Last summer I read Stephen Kinzer's Overthrow, in which he details the 14 regimes the US overthrew- starting w/ Hawaii and ending with Iraq. I found this book interesting, pertinent, and disturbing. But it was bothering me that even though I'd read it, I was still always getting different invasions mixed up or forgetting certain ones (Was it Iran or Guatemala that the CIA made a fake civil war for? Why were we even in Grenada?).

So, I thought it would be neat to focus on one invasion a week. Not only would this give me a chance to review, but now if I ever needed a refresher on how we took down Chile, I could just look it up on my blog. My plan is to do this on Monday, the serious day of the week. An additional goal, is to rank each overthrow in terms of which was the worst, eventually trying to see where Iraq ranks. My criteria for badness will be (A) how good the government was that we overthrew, (B) the aftermath, and (C) how many deaths took place in the takeover. Without further ado, let's get to the US's first overthrow- HAWAII

A Little History
White people had started coming since Captain Cook arrived in 1778. And although he eventually was cut into little bits and roasted by the locals, he and his shipmates left a litany of diseases that would decimate much of the native population. In the 1800's more whites would move to the islands. The first were missionaries, particularly motivated by the Hawaiians' heathen habits of walking around naked and participating in polygamy.

The missionaries' children would change their focus from souls to money and would begin converting most of the land to sugar plantations. Since the natives and whites had no interest in working on these, Japanese and Chinese came to Hawaii as workers. This was also when talk of having the US annex Hawaii began. The sugar barons wanted Hawaii treated like a US territory so they could avoid sugar tariffs. The US government didn't want to go that far, but in 1876 did sign a reciprocity agreement in which Hawaiian sugar would be tariff-free in exchange for putting military bases on Hawaii (eventually Pearl Harbor). This will cause sugar exports to the US to increase exponentially (from 21 million in 1876 to 225 million in 1890).

The Inciting Incident
Hawaii had various kings throughout this time, but they all were pretty much puppets for the US-born sugar barons. This changed when King Kalakaua died in 1891 and his bad ass sister Queen Liliuokalani took over. Liliuokalani was extremely angry about what she saw happening to Hawaii. So in 1893 she created a new Constitution that allowed only Hawaiian citizens the right to vote, in an attempt to take control away from all foreigners.

The Takeover
After Liliuokalani's constitution , the local annexers went into plot mode. What the annexers had against them was that the locals obviously loved Liliuokalani. For them, they had the tacit support of the US government and, oh yah, a little military base nearby. Ever hear of Peal Harbor? Once Liliuokalani heard about the planned overthrow, she back pedaled (she put the Consitution on hold and her "advisors" said she would never bring it up again), but it was too late for that. The annexers were smelling blood. Soon after, troops from a warship in Pearl Harbor landed in Honolulu. 162 marines and soldiers marched through the city and set up camp next to the Government Building. The next day they declared a new government and forced the Queen to abdicate. And guess who became the new president? That's right, Sam Dole, just who the Hawaiians would've elected I'm sure.
Aftermath
Hawaii will be officially annexed in 1898 and won't become a state until 1959. It'll be treated like a US territory from the day of the rebellion onwards.

How Bad Was It?
1. Hawaii

Well, since Hawaii's first, it obviously gets ranked #1. Still, let's assess. In terms of the takeover itself, at least no one died. And, in terms of the future of Hawaii, you could also argue things didn't end up so bad. Hawaii does get a lot of the bonuses by being part of the US and would most likely be significantly poorer if left alone. Of course, I'm not sure the locals would feel this way and I'm not sure how things are there for them. Judging from Dog The Bounty Hunter, most of the population is hopped up on ice, but I'm not sure that show is the best authority.

Where this overthrow feels bad is just the utter hypocrisy of the land of the free being against a woman who is pushing for more democracy. Even worse, the US rationalized it by calling her "treasonous" for changing the constitution. Of course, this won't be the first time we do this...

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Thursday, June 21, 2007

Summertime

Ahhh.... Summer vacation is officially upon us. Or I guess I should say upon me (and Petrovich and The Gancer...). But alas, what to do with my plethora of free time? Here are a few summer goals.



1. Cooking Staples
I've decided not to continue cooking A-Z (last summer I wanted to cook a meal from every country in alphabetical order). Although I enjoyed blogging about it, I really didn't get very far (I didn't even make it to the "B's"). Also, I have this habit of going a bit overboard when it comes to cooking (like A-Z or Southern Food or...) and never really learning how to make a normal meal. And then when I don't have a ton of time, the only thing I can seem to remember is Mac + Cheese or spaghetti. So this summer I just want to get 5 staples down and spend my hard-earned leisure time on other things like...



2. Registration

As I've mentioned before, I really need to get my car reregistered. Hopefully, I can get around to that within in the next 2 months.



3. A Class

For the second half of the summer I'm going to take a Middle Eastern 1800 to present class. Which might have little to do with what I actually teach (US History 1493 - 1900), but at least after it, I might finally know the difference between Shi'ites and Sunnis.



4. An Awesome Lawn

Alright, feel free to poke fun Miguelito, but when you soon have a house you'll see the importance of edging. I mean, I don't plan to be a freak about it, but unless you want a freakin' carpet growing out over the sidewalk (which is what I often have), you have to edge a little. And it is a much harder skill than I anticipated. After an epiphany 2 months ago (where I realized the key was using both the whacker and the edger), my last time resulted in mass sparks and creating various incongruent edges. But I am up to the challenge!!!



5. A Basketball Hoop

Wife got me a street basketball hoop like two birthdays ago, and this truly was a great a present. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to put it together yet. I don't think the fault is solely mine. I might be pretty retarded when it comes to most household work, but I'm actually not bad when it comes to putting something together w/ directions. But the wife got me a crazy complicated one with a slam dunk rim. Last summer I spent one sad summer day with all 47 different pieces staring up at me from the driveway, awaiting my accomplishment of step 1. It didn't happen. I'm considering buying a cheaper easier one, putting it together, and making the other one disappear. Wife never needs to know...

6. Find Where the Moths Are Coming From
Readers of this blog might remember the disgusting episode in December when wife and I discovered all the pictures on our fridge had maggots behind them. Well, after some scrubbing and tossing, there are no mo maggots. But now there are moths (I feel there is a connection). And just about every time I open the cupboard at least one flies out. Always a bad sign. So one day this summer I'm going to scour the flour and all the other possible hang outs. It's going to be one of those missions in which success is not all that much fun (Yahoo! I found the moth breeding ground! How utterly nasty!!!)

7. Avoid Rush Hour
I've gotta tell you guys. Nothing bums out my summer vibe more than when I forget what time it is, and I find myself doing an errand when all you working folk are coming home. It's like I've been attacked by all the stress I'm trying to avoid.

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Movies and a TV Show Review

The Good Shepherd: B
I found this behind-the-CIA movie pretty good. The main downside for me was that it was so secretive I never really knew what was going on (I haven't been this confused since Syriana), but that didn't totally bother me. I still found it interesting.

Knocked Up: B+

The newest movie from the 40-Year Old Virgin director, this time focusing on a slacker who impregnates a girl way out of his league. Wife and I seemed to be the only two people who didn't find Virgin funny, so we had our reservations, but we both liked it. I do feel it's been overhyped, but still enjoyed it and definitely laughed out loud multiple times.


Sopranos Season 6+: B

******Spoiler Alert***********

I was really critical of this season at the beginning, but I thought it did come around- particularly the 2nd-to-last episode, which ranks as one of the best ever in my book. My hatred of AJ, and the show's bizarre decision to focus on him instead of killing him, still irked me, but he alone could not ruin the season. But about the finale's finale... I overall agree w/ the sentiment that any ending that makes you think your cable box broke, is, generally speaking, a bad idea. Still, I have appreciated the ensuing open-endedness. My favorite theory is that, in the last moment, we were watching Meadow enter from Tony's eyes, and everything went to black suddenly b/c he'd been shot (As he'd foreshadowed in his talk w/ Bobby in the premiere). I think if this is not the case, and Chase was just showing us that life went on, it would be a really bad choice to end it so drastically.

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Sunday, June 10, 2007

Portland Meiers Briggs' Type

So, since I am a little obsessed w/ Meiers Briggs personality typing (I'm an ENTP if you were wondering), I've always liked the idea of trying to come up w/ one specific to a city. Below is my one for Portland. I've come up with 4 categories, and for each you determine whether you are low, medium, or high in it. My hope is that this could be used to classify all Portlanders.
Outdoorsiness
High: You Heart Kayaking
Medium: You camp about once a year and like to go on the occasional hike
Low: You don't understand why anyone would like to sleep on a rock

Hipsterness
High: You take your thrift store shopping, your music taste, and your cynicism very seriously
Medium: You do see the value of dive bars and Pabst
Low: You wear J Crew

Alcoholicism
High: You get drunk twice a week
Medium: You like to drink
Low: You might have a beer with a dinner, or a couple at a social occasion, but then you (inexplicably) just stop.

Intelectuality
High: You make references to New Yorker articles during dinner conversations
Medium: You like artsy movies and know what's going on in politics
Low: Your favorite TV channel is the WB
So what do people think? Any changes? What about the 4 categories for a different city?

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Saturday, June 02, 2007

History of American Beer Part 1

Last week I started a book called Ambitious Brew: The Story of American Beer by Maureen Ogle. Normally, one waits for the end of the book to share info, but there's a really good chance I won't finish it. Here are some things I have learned thus far...

Ales to Rum To Whiskey To German Lager

Our first beers were English ales, which makes sense, but it'll quickly lose its popularity. Just surviving was paramount in the Northeast, and those Puritans didn't really have the luxury to grow hops and brew beer. Additionally, in the warm South, the ales had a tendency to go bad, and people tended towards ciders and bourbon.


The Caribbean plantations w/ their excess sugar (and slave trade) will flood the colonies w/ rum. But although the American Revolution will rid us of those dastardly Lobster Backs, it'll also cause the price of molasses to soar and make rum more expensive. Fortunately, due to an abundance of back country farmers with an overabundance of grain, the Whiskey Age will take root.


At this point in our history, liquor is going to be getting a fairly bad rap, and some of the first temperance movements will begin, with 12 states banning alcohol by 1855. But thank god for the Germans and their lager. This is also the time of mass immigration and the Germans will come in mass bearing beer. Not only will they sell the beer to their peers, but the prohibitionists will prefer the less potent lager to the much more dangerous, whiskey. Add in mass industrialization and some of our biggest new businesses will be breweries, spreading the lovely liquid across the burgeoning country.

Why We Love Budweiser

Ogle starts the book by critiquing the common story of American beer, that all the craft breweries were taken out by Prohibition, leading to the Budweiserization of our current top sellers. And it appears she is right that not only is this an oversimplification, but is most probably dead wrong. Instead, the big beer companies will take over well before prohibition. Also, it appears that unfortunately people wanted watered down tasteless beer.


Although I think of lagers as light, these German lagers were much darker then say, a Miller. And the German brewers are going to soon find that the drinking public actually wants their beer light. When in 1876 Carl Conrad introduced his ripped-off version of the Czech Pilsner Budweis(called the Beer of Kings there) with Budweiser, it will become one of the country's top-sellers even though it will also be one of the most expensive. The other big companies will follow with their own light pilsners.


Why people want this lighter beer is hard to say. One theory is that the populace was getting more protein through eating more in general and more meat in particular. No longer did one require a liquid dinner, just a nice supplement to intoxication. Another theory was that the fast-paced American life style preferred a quick easy drink to a darker one more meant for savoring. Regardless, I found this depressing. Besides the obvious advantages already held by mass-marketed beer companies, the idea that this is what people actually want makes me realize the micro brew revolution will probably only go so far. But then again, what do I care, I live in Portland where the only people drinking Miller are hipsters trying to be ironic.

But that's it for now. Although my reading pace is slowing a little, the fact that the main character's are named Schlitz, Blatz, Pabst, and Anheuser helps. If I finish it, I'll do a second update.

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