Seven Star Hotel

That's right. Fuck third world countries. This year wife and I have decided to live it up and stay in Dubai at the world's only seven star hotel. Rooms for up to $35,000 and we'll get gold-plated bannisters, a simulated submarine ride to an underwater restaurant, and staff to clean our sunglasses. Oh, you want to come? Sure, no problem, but it'll cost you $75 just to get through the gates to gaze at our awesomeness.

Okay fine, we aren't going to Dubai. Instead, we're leaving on Sunday for the Dominican Republic (although those in the know just say the "Dee Are"). Still, we will get to have a little bit of luxury at the end. For the first 9 days we'll be in Santo Domingo and Santiago, but for the last 5 we'll be staying in a resort on the North Coast (Puerta Plata). Wife spent a year in the Dee Are during high school and a friend of hers offered us 5 days free at the resort he works at for our wedding present. Not bad. But there are some questions to be asked...

1. If this an all-inclusive resort, does this mean I get to drink for free?

2. On the web site, the biggest criticism was, "too many stairs." Does this mean most people there are fat? Or are they old?

3. Most importantly, what does this portend for our future travels? Is Club Med next???