The Future Is Now

Anyone who's driven down Portland's I-5 over the last year has certainly seen the new OMSI Aeriel Tram (I guess it was causing traffic jams in its first month from gawkers). And, as I watch it looping over the highway, I can't help but think of the Jetsons. It shouldn't be long now 'till we have an entire sky transit system flying through our skies. I see this as a very good thing, but am still waiting on a few other futuristic ideas that haven't quite made it yet.

1. The Food Pill

Now, I like a good meal like anyone else, but am I the only one who gets sick of eating day after after day. That's why I will be super-psyched when someone invents a food pill that can satiate and vitaminize me. I wouldn't use it everyday, but it would certainly come in handy.

2. Robot Maid

Big Sister has been raving about her robot mop, so, fortunately, we are getting closer and closer to this being a reality. And they've even invented a robot lawnmower, although that just seems terrifying. But there are so many other cleaning aspects I wish could be done electronically. Like my dishes. When is someone going to invent some device to clean my dishes? That would be great.

3. Teleportation Device

This is the invention I will be most excited about. My commute? Gone. Camping in the South West terminal in the hopes of securing my wife an aisle seat? History. I realize the complications are immense here (not to mention the danger of fusing your genes with a Fly), but if even short distances could be accommodated through teleportation, all of our lives would be so much easier...

Guest DJ: EMHO

So EMHO, if you have a break at work, you mind commenting about some music you've been listening to lately?

EMHO: "Ha! Break from work! Now that is comedy.I've been extremely bored with my music selection lately. I need to get a few albums off of Miguelito's computers. Looking forward to listening to Of Montreal, the Field. I'm currently listening to Fujiya & Miyagi, the new Arcade Fire & Asobi Seksu."

An Unreasonable Man???

I watched a documentary on Ralph Nader this weekend, Unreasonable Man, and thought it was good. The first half is fairly fawning, seemingly for good reason. Besides seat belts and air bags, we can thank Nader for countless pro-consumer anti-corporation organizations, bills, and followers, who followed in Nader's path (Nader's Raiders). He actually got General Motors so mad that they had him followed and tried to ensnare him in controversy multiple ways, including sending women to hit on him in grocery stores (good luck there, Nader's never been married and none of his biographers have ever even unearthed a single girlfriend). He eventually won $425,000 from GM. Things got harder for him after Carter. In the name of shrinking government, Reagan got rid of many of Nader's programs and when the Democrats took back the White House, they had become too pro-business to listen to Nader much. He tried some other ways to make a difference, but the next major stop in his career would be his attempts at becoming president.

I've always been critical of Nader running for office in 2000, and even though the movie become balance at this point, it still helped me put his election runs more in perspective. They had a part where a guy studied whether Nader had been focusing on Florida and other spoiler states and found no pattern other than an attempt to maximize votes by spending a lot of time in sure winners like Cali and NY. Additionally, it is almost a statistical anomaly that he did have such an effect. He's not the first third candidate, and he really didn't get many votes (2.74%). Is it his fault he happened to be running in one of our closest elections with the closest state vote ever? Why aren't Republicans complaining more about Perot, who got 19% in 1992?

But the question still has remains, why did he run at all? What was he hoping to accomplish? And as the movie continued, I started to think he had no idea. I was astonished by this smart man's naivety. At one point he claims that if only Kerry had focused on corporate welfare, he would have for sure won. Does he seriously believe this? And how could he not be more aware that our terrible electoral system sentenced him to being meaningless. In a parliamentary system he could have accomplished something. But the best a third party candidate can hope for is here is to be a spoiler. It can be argued that in three consecutive elections the (1992, 1996, and 2000) the wrong party won.

No, in this country the way to accomplish agendas is through creating organizations, by staying in the media's eyes, and through relentlessly pushing your agenda. And Nader had been doing this. It's as if he grew more clueless as he aged. Maybe losing voice in the Reagan era did something to him. Or maybe he needed to get laid and stop working so much.

Overall, I felt like he really has had a great career and did feel intense admiration for him. And of course, I wish our election system could become more democratic and that 3% of the vote meant 3% of the influence. But I do wish he hadn't run in 2000. Besides the 8 years of Bush we've had to endure, I feel our country could have used his energy in other places where he could have made more changes. For instance, what if instead of running a fruitless election, he had tried to change our electoral system? Now that could've actually resulted in some lasting change.

Modern Day Crack

Now, even though the crack epidemic of the 80's has waned, that doesn't mean that one does not need to be careful to avoid other all-consuming highly addicitive modern-day temptations. Here are three I personally have abstained from.

1. Blackberries

What I think is the worst aspect of a Blackberry, is that people can seem like they are still participating in regular life, but the worst addicts still find a way to check it every few minutes. Are they really even listening to you during the checking intervals? Additonally, the ability to check the internet at all times is a power greater than most mortals can handle.

2. 24

The word on the street is that this show is not nearly as good as it is addictive. The definition of crack! Knowing my propensity to get hooked on television series', I will keep myself away from Jack Bauer saving the world, 1 hour at a time.

3. Vitamins

Not only does their methods of classification annoy me (Why are some named after letters and others called riboflavin or thiamine? Why not Vitamin R or T?), but I really don't think vitamins work. Have you noticed that compulsive vitamin takers always look less healthy than your average Joe? Seriously, it's for the same reason that germophobes are sick so often- any possible positive sides are overcome by the damage done by thinking and stressing about them. But still, people take them day after day buying bottle after bottle. And once you start, it's a life-long habit. My riboflavin levels are perfectely fine already, thank you very much.

Beer Versus Bacon

The eternal dilemma, which one to choose?

Well, for the last 4 months, I haven't had to. Wife got me Bacon of the Month Club for my birthday (September) and Beer of the Month Club for Xmas. And so you might be wondering, which one is better?

Without a doubt, I have preferred the Beer of the Month Club. As much as I've appreciated getting bacon sent to me in the mail, the bacon itself hasn't been that special. I mean, all bacon is good, so there really is no reason to be getting it from different farms. And when they've gone for the exotic types(like sugar bacon or pork jowls), it's been kind of gross.

But the Beer of the Month Club... It's like having 12 pieces of heaven arrive every month. I love it, and have become a complete dork about it. You get 4 types of beer (3 a piece) and I organize them into neat rows in my refrigerator so I know exactly how much of each one I have left. I even started a spread sheet yesterday so I could keep track of the good ones. Here are some things I've discovered...

1. I seem to be going through a Pale Ale period in my life. I used to be all about Porters, but lately, I've been really enjoying all beers on the Pale to India Pale Ale spectrum.

2. I'm not that into foreign beers. Other than the Polish Okocim, the foreign beers have been my least favorite (I've gotten a Marzen, 2 Dopplebocks, and a triple nightcap) thus far. It appears that my favorite beers are American Micro brew versions of foreign beers.

3. Three that have stood out: (A) Snake Chaser, an Irish Style stout from Lakefront Brewery in Milwaukee, (B) The Bitter End Pale Ale from 2 Brothers Brewing company located outside Chicago in Warrenville, and (C) Extra Pale Ale from Green Flash Brewing Company in San Diego (and I've seen it recently at New Season in Portland).

4. Beer is good.

Stupidest Chorus Ever

Alright, I recently heard the song, "This is Why I'm Hot", and am considering that it just might contain The Stupidest Chorus Ever. It begins with:

This is why I'm hot, this is why I'm hot, this is why this is why this is why I'm hot.

So far pretty dumb, but forgivable. I mean, lots of songs have choruses that just repeat phrases. But it gets way worse when he starts explaining

I'm hot cuz I'm fly

Aren't these both synonyms. Like this would be the equivalent of telling someone, "I'm beautiful b/c I'm pretty." So already, I'm thinking this chorus is pretty dumb, but the kicker is the next line when he explains why you're not as hot as he.

You Ain't Cuz You Not

You ain't cuz you not? Are you kidding me??? He couldn't come up with anything better? These are the insults a 3-year old wields. "You're stupid cuz you're dumb. I like you, NOT." I guess in the verse he gives some more specific details about why he's hot, but I just can't get over, "You ain't cuz you not." That is epically stupid, right?

But perhaps I'm just being harsh on kids today. Can anyone come up with a stupider chorus? For some reason the only dumb chorus I can think of is "Louie Louie", which is certainly inane, but doesn't hold a candle to "You ain't cuz you not." Anyone else have any ideas?

Spring Break 2007!!!

Got back late Sunday from staying in La Cruz de Huanacaxtle (right outside of Puerto Vallerta). I'm sure I wasn't too missed (considering I was with 2/7 of my commenters), but it is nice to be back. Here are some of the highlights (and 1 lowlight).

1. Bad Day One

Possible worst flying experience ever. After being seated, the whole flight was evacuated so they could fix a clogged toilet. Yes, a clogged toilet. The flight was delayed 7 hours and then it was cancelled. We were forced to drive to Seattle and get a flight for the next day. Anyone have a worse story?

2. Awesome T-Shirts

We decided to have an Obnoxious T-Shirt Contest. The only trick was that the really bad ones were so awful no one was willing to buy it. So, the winner was the agro frat party demand, "IF YOU DIDN'T COME TO PART STAY THE FUCK HOME". But, the fisherman getting a blowjob from a fish probably would've taken the title hands down, had anyone actually purchased it.

3. Drunk Bargaining

Witnessed a great bargaining session between Miguelito's hermano and a motor-boat-snorkeling guy. I won't go into all the details, but suffice it so say when we found out the next day the guy had been drunk at the time, it all made sense.

4. Snorkelling Is Fun

I guess everyone else already knew this, but not coming from a very action-adventure oriented family, I had only been snorkeling once before. Although I never felt fully comfortable with the gear, I loved the space-like floating and echoey feeling.

5. Bathtub Riacilla

Ended up randomly in a town called La Mascota. We got there by mistake (wrong turn on the way to mining town), but ended up enjoying being in a normal Mexican City virtually gringo-free (which we of course were ruining). The added bonus was when we went in search of their local type of tequilla (called Riacilla) and were sent to a local's house. There, we knocked on the door, and were served samples by an 8-year old. Eventually, he poured us a bottle right then and there. That's what I call service!

6. And then of course...

Lots of sun, relaxing, and various lageresque beers (why bother having different Mexican beers?). And now I will return to transitioning back to reality...