Dog Haters
Now, I'm not one of those bring Toughie-everywhere treat-my-Max-like-a-spoiled-child base-life-decisions-on-Benji dog owner. But some of the dog hating going on in my neighborhood is just plain weird. One house has a store-bought sign that reads, "No Dogs," and has a dog with a cross through it. Another neighbor has a hand-made, "No Dog Poop!," sign adorning his front yard. Both bring up multiple questions...
1. Where do you buy an anti-dog sign?
For arguments sake, let's assume this wasn't bought on the internet. Then where? A Target? 
Nope, think of how many people would be pissed off. A gas station in the middle of nowhere? No, I still don't see it. Where then?
Nope, think of how many people would be pissed off. A gas station in the middle of nowhere? No, I still don't see it. Where then?2. If you really hate poop so much, why are you going out of your way to associate your house with it?
Now, I'm assuming the "No Dog Poop" person is upset about the aesthetics of dog waste on their lawn. Alright, but do you really want everyone who comes over or walks by your abode to think of dog poop as they look at your house?
3. How much poop, really?
Okay, now I can see that if my lawn was littered w/ dog feces, then I too would get upset (but to go to my workshop and construct a sign?). But is this actually a problem? I have multiple people walk dogs by my house on the way to a coffee shop and I would say in 5 years I've had dog poop left on my lawn.... Once? Twice? I just don't believe that this is happening all that much (But you wonder, do they get sort-of excited when it does? Like, this is total justification for their anger?).
4. What are they really mad about?
I think in both cases, there really is something more to this. Like maybe society's intrusion in their life? Bad childhood connections? Boss treating them like shit? Any ideas?
Labels: Life
posted by chuckdaddy2000 at 8:48 pm
9 Comments:
CD,
Did you guys move out to Gresham or Hillsboro in the past few weeks? Why are folks so hot under the collar about some doggie doody?
The only reasonable explanation that they could give is maybe the small or perhaps it has destroyed their grass in patches. Fron lawns in the US are such a strange thing - this patch of cropped grass that's used for nothing in particular except to create some space between your house and the street.
Why don't you make a big sign that says "Dog Poop Appreciated - My Lawn Needs the Nitrogen"? (Course, then you might have to deal with the consequences of lots of dog shiite in your yard, which you might not want.....)
My dad almost got into a fight with a neighbor after he walked his dogs and they did their business - after a heated argument the guy said he was giving my dad a 'by' this ONE time. How generous!
Well, it's a little annoying when you have to pick up somebody else's shit, is all. But having said that, it's only shit. Everybody poops.
I think people who overreact to this kind of thing probably have control issues in general.
@miguel -- for good nitrogen input, you want the animal piss, not shit. I use compressed wood pellets in my cat's box, then spread the dissolved sawdust (sans shit) on the grass. I've got a greener, fuller lawn. No kidding!
I like the idea of "My lawn Needs thr Nitrogen."
I've also been tempted to go buy like a huge amount of fake dog poop and just cover the guy's lawn in it. Would he just flip his lid? Or be secretly disappointed when he found out it was fake??
I watched a mopey teenager walking an enormous dog in front of my house on President's Day. Then the enormous dog took an enormous dump, after which the boy and dog moped away, sans retrieval. Ah hah! I thought. Now I know where all that enormous poop is coming from. And there's no grass right here; it's just sitting there on the curb, basically, waiting for you step in it in the dark as you're getting out of your car on the way home from Trader Joe's. Then you have to scrape your shoe around like an ass, hoping no one is noticing, as you leave little scrapings of it all over the place for your significant other to step in and track all over the house. It can be a real disaster…um…I’ve heard.
One thing that was odd about Portland is that it there as such a dichotomy about dogs. On the one hand, it is the most dog-friendly city I've ever lived or visited - everybody has a dog (including me when I lived there). Yet you also had these rabid dog haters you don't find anywhere else. I always thought that was weird.
Anyway, glad you're not one of the haters.
Portland kills dogs. When I lived in PDX there was someone leaving poisoned dog treats in a park. How f-ed is that?
Cherry-
Perhaps that's the key. In PDX you have all these people who would normally just dislike dogs, driven to utter hatred (and murder as 5of9er pointed out) b/c of the sheer number of dogs here.
@ 5of9er:
To reframe a little, Portland is such an over-the-top Dog Town that when someone poisons dogs -- something that's pretty fucked up, sure, but also common as dirt -- it's a big front-page scandal for a week or two.
there's a man in my neighborhood (in chicago) who is so worked up about people who don't clean up after their dogs he has erected a gigantic BORNZE dog poop in his front yard as some kind of weird artistic statement/protest. I guess he should move to Portland!
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