NBA Playoffs

So far so good. I think this is the reason I got cable, so that during the playoffs I could at any time turn the TV and some important game would be going on. Thought so far...

1. Whether or not the Lakers upset Phoenix, the Suns have some serious issues. 7 teams are averaging over 100 points per game in the playoffs and 1 of them isn't the Suns? They'll be better next year with Amare (assuming he fully recovers), but if their run-and-gun only works during the regular season, what's the point?

2. I always thought that being clutch was something you pretty much had or hadn't. Jordan- clutch. Karl Malone- not. Reggie Miller- clutch. Tim Duncan- not. But Lebron seems to be proving this theory wrong. I read an interview where he admitted that he got sick of everyone saying he wasn't clutch enough and decided to improve that area. I guess when you're that talented you can just decide on those things.

3. I think the only possible upsets are the Lakers and the Wizards. The Nets have righted their ship and the Clippers just look better than the Nuggets.

4. The Spurs are winning, but look vulnerable. I just don't see them winning it. The Pistons, on the other hand, look great.

5. Fearless Prediction: The Spurs are able to get past the Mavericks using their additional experience and smarts. But they are so worn down that whomever wins in the West's weaker quarter has a good chance at an upset. Regardless, the Pistons will dominate the winner.

Tiolet Love

For those of you who like love stories, here's one to warm your heart. The odds against Spencer and Kim seemed insurmountable. They were separated not only by floors (he was on the 7th, she the 8th), but by a strict Multnomah Prison policy that males and females were not to congregate. But that didn't stop them.

It seems that sound travels through the pipes, and if a prisoner dishes out the water, their toilet can make for a sort of telephone. Spencer called through there one night and found himself talking to Kim. They may have originally been connected by the random configuration of their sewer system, but soon they were connected by much more. They talked all the time, and at times it got so heated that Spencer would need to remind her, "Whoa, hold on, I've got a cellie in here with me."

Upon release, they moved in together. Unfortunately, it only lasted 10 months (Spencer surmised: "She had a lot of baggage"), but it still just goes to show that often times you find love in the nastiest places.

Vocalists

A list of the 5 best and 5 worst male vocalists, not ranked in any particular order

5 Best Male Vocalists

1. Eddie Vedder: Never felt like their music was all that groundbreaking, but he really had an amazing voice.
2. Roger Daltry: How does a singer match up with a windmill strumming guitarist and the smashing of instruments? That's right. By swinging the mic around. And don't tell me you haven't been tempted to do the same while kareoking. You just didn't have the guts that Daltry did.
3. Old Johnny Cash: I know EMHO hated redemption song, but I could have listened to just about any cover that guy sang during his last 10 years. He even made reggae listenable.
4. Jimmy Page: Never the hugest Led Zeppelin Fan (although I wouldn't go so far to call them overrated like Mr. Controversy Petrovich), but he did influence a type of singing that fueled a generation of glam-metal bands.
5. Marvin Gaye: Particularly his earlier less-R + B songs

5 Worst Male Vocalists

1. The lead singer of Rush: Don't mean to obsess on this band, but I really can't stand the singer.
2. The lead singer of Midnight Oil: His warbling kind of scares me
3. Bruce Willis: Return of the Bruno my ass!
4 and 5 David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar: Cheesey and creepy at the same time. Both of them.

3 Movies I've Seen Recently

Paradise Now
Great movie about two Palestinians living in the West Bank and being picked to be suicide bombers. Well done and interesting.

Hustle and Flow
Took me a little to get into, but then I really liked it. A friend of mine was disturbed though and felt it was racist. I agreed more with my wife who felt if anything it was sexist. She pointed out that it wasn't as if they gave the impression that all blacks were pimps and hos (hos, ho's or hoes? How do you write it?). For example, they had the middle-class black woman who was uncomfortable being around the pimp house. I actually really liked how they handled race in the movie. They turned things on their head a bit by having his main ho and dj be white. And I liked how that was noted by the characters, but not the biggest deal in the world. Overall, I thought it was definitely a good movie.

Jarhead
Curious about other people's take on this movie. I enjoyed watching it, but am still unsure. Part of me felt like its point, going to war but not fighting, was made and then not much more happened. Additionally, I never totally bought the 2 stars as army guys. Jake was passable, because he can look kind of crazy. But Peter Sarsgaard (who'd also been in Garden State) didn't fit the army-frat guy type at all. They both would work better as lost intellectuals than lost army guys. Still, another part of me felt like Mendes stuck to a simple thesis and pulled it off. Them having to go through all the army rituals for nothing, the desert images, the need for a kill... It's all kind of sticking with me. So, opinion is still pending.

Fuck All You All

Are private schools better than public schools?

"A new study takes up this question by examining math scores from the 2000 National Assessment of Educational Progress, which tested more than 28,000 fourth and eighth graders nationwide. As expected, private-school students earned substantially higher math scores on the NAEP tests than did students in public school- but when the authors controlled for socioeconomic status, the private-school advantage completely disappeared. Indeed, when the authors compared socioeconomic brackets, rather than across them, the students from public schools actually outscored their private-school peers, in the fourth and eighth grades alike" - May, 2006 Atlantic Monthly

So take that all you private-school snobs, voucher-fuckers, and public education critics!

Future Prospects of the Blazers

Not to be Mr. Negative, but as this dismal season wraps up, I look to the only place a fan of rebuilding team can, the future. And unfortunately, it's not looking so great here. Yes, maybe Telfair will blossom, Randolph will get back his hops, and their new high draft pick will emerge as a superstar. Maybe, maybe not. But most often, bad teams stay bad. And compared to the other terrible teams in the NBA, the Blazer's look to have some of the worst future prospects.

Toronto: Toronto looks to me like a team that could challenge for a playoff spot next year. They have a legitimate young superstar, intriguing potential in Villanueva, and some solid veterans in Peterson and James. James is a free agent, and will be a tough off-season decision for them, but they can afford him and some with the removal of Rose.

Atlanta: Dare I say Atlanta is starting to show some potential. Joe Johnson might never earn his superstar salary, but if he continues his second half play next year he's a lock as a future all-star. And even though it's doubtful Smith, Childress, and Williams will all work out, it is looking like 2 out of 3 might. Their biggest issue is Harrington, who could potentially be greatly overpaid this summer. Having Johnson and Harrington with huge salaries could debilitate what is looking to be a half-decent rebuilding effort. But, either way, I like their overpaid veteran way more than ours (Randolph) and their young players are showing more promise.

Charlotte: Charlotte's prospect don't overshadow Portland's, but do look a little better. They are in great financial shape (21 million in salaries next year compared to Portland's 59 million) and own a future Toronto pick. Also, Felton and Okafor have done much better than Telfair and Webster.

New York: I introed with "some of the worst" prospects for a reason. I do think the Blazers have a heads up on the Knicks, who have 125 million in salaries for next season and already traded their #1 pick. The Knicks do have more talent, but a lot of bad eggs with even worse contracts than our bad eggs (they even pick up Quintel "Running With The Pit Bulls" Woods).

At this time of the year it is easy to imagine that "next year" everything will be better. I am not opposed to this, and actually do find some satisfaction in watching the progress of a bad team to good. But it is sobering to realize your team has the second-worst prospects of any team in the league. I'm a life-long Cubs fan, so I realize more than most that "rebuilding" sounds better than its reality. And let's just say the rebuilding has only just begun here

Unnecessary Buttons

So I'm doing some Sunday afternoon vacuuming and midway through the first room I realize I had accidentally turned off the "Super" button. Now, without this button pushed, the vacuum cleaner is very unsuper. So unsuper, in fact, that it literally does not suck. Is there a reason anyone would ever want their vacuum to not suck?

This reminded me of my ultimate nemesis, the "caps lock" key. Now, maybe my readers are more dexterious typers than I of the two-fingers school, but am I the only one who on occassion presses the "caps lock" key by mistake and am faced with a 1/2 page of capital letters? Does anyone actually ever use this option? Oh, I really want to make this e-mail seem angry. YAY FOR CAPS LOCK!!! If you have to have it, can't they stick it somewhere less ubiquitous than right next to the "A" key?

And on my car, I have this button right next to the defroster that is called "trac" that I can turn on and off. When I bought my car, I was told this was to increase traction. Now, when wouldn't I want good traction? And what the fuck does this little button have to do with my tires? Sometimes when I'm feeling a little crazy, I'll turn it off and wave my hands in the air and feel really wild. Yeah, all caution thrown to the wind, but I don't give a damn because I am a rebel mad with my tractionless tires.

But usually I just wish my vacumm cleaner sucked, I controlled my capitals, and my car always had good traction.

Genetically Modified Dragons

Now, I generally like to think of myself as an anti-GM no cloning all-natural additives type of guy. But a genetically modified dragon? Now that is pretty cool.

Dr. Fril (no relation to Dr. Phil), is attempting to create various mythological creatures (like dragons, gryphons, unicorns, etc.) so that he can sell them as exotic pets. And how is he going to do this? Well, it seems he starts with a similar animal's genome (a lizard for a dragon) and does rapid-fire evolution via computer. This is accomplished with mutations and by picking the resulting genomes that are most going in the dragon direction. Since a computer can do these simulations quickly, it is possible to create the evolutionary path that would result in a dragon. After which, he inserts the DNA into a nucleusless cell. And hopefully, viola dragon!

Kind of crazy and doesn't sound too much out of the realm of possibility in our post-cloning world. On the cynical side though, this is Dr. Fril's second jaunt into the pet world. His first attempt was to create a Real Goldfish. That is, a goldfish with actual gold in its skin cells. He succeeded, sort of. He created a gold Goldfish, but the fish was so heavy it just sank to the bottom of the tank; showing Dr. Fril has more skills than foresight. And what scary ramifications might he be creating this time? Hard to know, but it all sounds very Pet Sematary to me. Still, don't be too surprised if in 10 years, daughters around the country are begging their parents for a unicorn.

Searching For Some Soul

My wife and some friends are on the search for the best soul food in Portland. Thus far we've been to the Delta (many times), Clay's Smokehouse Grill (twice), and Yam Yam's (this weekend).

I really wanted Yam Yam's to be the best. It had a great broken down authentic feel to it. I would have felt very cool after if I could have recommended it or taken out-of-towners there. But the food did not stand out. Not only was it mostly just a whole lot of meat, but it wasn't particularly tasty. The owner told us his was Alabama style- which, he said, meant that it wasn't too spicy or tangy. Um, okay... Is that really a type you want to show off about? Like me saying, "My spaghetti is Chicago style. Lots of sauce, but only a little flavor."

So far I've got to say my favorite is The Delta. Great Collards, tasty Catfish, good mashed potatoes (can't comment about other foods there because I've gotten this exact combo every time). Still, I have a hard time thinking that the white-boy Reedies who run Delta with its eccentric ironic vibe really could be making the best soul food in town. But who's better???