Ways to Go Straight To Hell
For many of us, whether or not we will spend our afterlife in heaven or hell is probably a bit up in the air. I mean, people are biased towards themselves, so most probably think heaven's their final destination, but many people can also think of more than a few discretions that might make their afterlife a bit hotter. Below are 3 ways, with no grey area, that can make your eventual path clearly towards one of the fiery circles.
1. Parking in a Handicapped Space
There's something about this that just seems so utterly wrong. I mean, does anyone do this? Like do bank robbers park in them when robbing banks? Or does some mild moral reflex pull them over to the space with the yellow diagonal lines running through it? I bet even serial killers don't. Seriously, I bet Jefferey Dammer never once parked in a handicapped space his entire life.
2. Calling Your Recovering Alcoholic Friend When You Want To Get Wasted
I think many of us have done some form of this, just not gone all the way. I mean, you know there's always that person that will drink with you, and on most nights you wish they would avoid the bottle. But then there's those times you just feel like taking it up a level... And you know who'll be there for you. But hopefully, none of us has actually actively brought a friend back off the wagon.
3. Kicking Your DogThe worse thing about kicking your dog would be, you know, they would still come back to you. That next day when you came home from work there would be Fido welcoming you at the door. And that is why you would be going to hell and they to heaven