Three Things I Do Better Than You
1. Play Scrabble
Oh you think you're good? You think??? No offence, but I'll waste you. Oh, you like the long words? No problem, I'll 7-letter your ass. No, so now you['re saying you like the cramped board? That's fine by me. I can play dirty too. All I know is that in the end you'll be crying like a little girl as my 350 score is rung up.
2. Parallel Park
Damn I'm good! There really is no comparison to me in this department. I not only can wedge my slick Saturn into the most cramped up places, but I usually can pull it off with just one try. And you know, you all could get there. First, you gotta just yank that steering wheel to the right. That gets you in deep. And then don't be afraid to bump. Back bump front back bump and I'm in tight. Listen and learn.
3. Find Beer Cap Openers
Seriously man, this skill of mine is off the charts. Not to boast, but I can walk myself into any stranger's kitchen and I'm like a homing pigeon. It's like a radar goes off in my head. I take a second to survey the surroundings, then BOOM, I pull out the lucky cupboard and find that beer opener. For real.
Oh you think you're good? You think??? No offence, but I'll waste you. Oh, you like the long words? No problem, I'll 7-letter your ass. No, so now you['re saying you like the cramped board? That's fine by me. I can play dirty too. All I know is that in the end you'll be crying like a little girl as my 350 score is rung up.
2. Parallel Park
Damn I'm good! There really is no comparison to me in this department. I not only can wedge my slick Saturn into the most cramped up places, but I usually can pull it off with just one try. And you know, you all could get there. First, you gotta just yank that steering wheel to the right. That gets you in deep. And then don't be afraid to bump. Back bump front back bump and I'm in tight. Listen and learn.
3. Find Beer Cap Openers
Seriously man, this skill of mine is off the charts. Not to boast, but I can walk myself into any stranger's kitchen and I'm like a homing pigeon. It's like a radar goes off in my head. I take a second to survey the surroundings, then BOOM, I pull out the lucky cupboard and find that beer opener. For real.
Labels: Random Rankings
posted by chuckdaddy2000 at 9:09 pm
10 Comments:
Chuckdaddy,
Oh like fuck you're a better Scrabble player than me. Show me the bingos, sucka. I'll be patting you on your head for your cute little 350 points. I think it's about time we scheduled this long anticipated smackdown.
And as for parallel parking, MY MOM can parallel park better than you! Yeah! No, really -- she's amazing. It's like her superpower. Maybe you're equally amazing, though. I've never watched you park.
M5M
Okay, this is just random, CDX. I really hope you don't list these three things out on your resume.
Is this how you wooed Mrs. ChuckDaddy?
Nah, he wooed her by whuppin' her at Scrabble.
To Michael5000 and his mom-
Man, you may have beaten my ass, but I was a freakin' neophyte then. That was before I learned the art of the 7-letter TKO and the raj/qat/xu trifecta. You'll be begging for mercy this time.
And your mom? Please. It ain't hard to parallel park in a town the size of my daddy's ass. How's she gonna handle the pressure when a line of cars is behind her and she's gotta pull in or shut in? I ain't scared of her.
Chuckl,
I notice that you did not include ping pong amongst your boastings - perchance because of a man known as Mike Lane???
Honestly, how do you think you would do against G.I. on the Scrabble gridiron? How would you fare against the master?
First of all, my mama's a city girl born and bred. True, there isn't any call for parallel parking in the town she lives in now, but her gift stays with her.
And by the way, I try to be sensitive to your "Chicagoland" cultural ways, but that bump-parking thing? Here on the West Coast, we call that "hit and run," and like to fine, jail, or ritually humiliate the perpetrators. If you've got to scuff bumpers, well, maybe you should look into some parallel parking lessons? I could check if my mom has some time free....
I'm not scared of your qat, your raj, or your xu. I am the master of the leave, and thus I am invincible.
M5M
I don't think you can tout your parking stature until you've parked a larger car without power steering.
Puhlleeeze! Beat ME in scrabble? I see the crack epidemic has finally peaked in the northwest. In FACT, I will be traveling to Portland in the near future and scrabble will be on the agenda. I play defense. You have no chance. In fact, I will beat you without playing your fake words designed to bail out light weights who can't handle the big letters. Knock Knock. Who's There? Xu. Xu-Who? Xu's gonna get a smack down by the Fab One.
I am terrible at all three... so you got me beat. :)
Who has time for your Grandpa Games?
SPEED Scrabble, dudes! No BOARD!
Build your own puzzle, break it down, start again. First one to use up all the letters WINS! ROCK ON!
Post a Comment
<< Home